Forgive Me
by Mamacita
Summary: Joe has to garner courage to ask Mimi's forgivness Wow...sad...r/r


Forgive Me  
Rated PG-13  
AN: A song fic for the 'Color Blind' by Counting Crows  
It has NO connection to my other fic, Color Blind. I left a few thing up for speculation.  
  
Summary: Joe needs to garner courage to ask Mimi for forgivness...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I am color blind,  
coffee black and egg white,  
pull me out from inside,  
  
Joe tried to ignore the guilt, tried to avoid the pain, the betrayel he had   
seen in her eyes. He felt tears he hadn't cried in a long time, resurface. He leaned   
forward, planting his hands on his knees and he gasped out his anguish.  
Wh...why was he so stupid? He had no reason to live anymore...Nothing that should continue  
this pain. He felt rotten, sick to his stomach. He needed to find...He felt his chic, black  
glasses sliding, and he pushed them back up quickly. Joe's indigo hair covered his face   
as he looked around wildly, his dark blue gaze taking in the area. An old women hobbled  
cautiously along a cobblestone walk. Two children giggled and squealed as they tore around  
the park. Jade green grass sprung up in delectable abundance around his feet, seeming   
brighter and more vibrent due to the overcast sky. He tilted his head back. Rain was   
on it's way. The black clouds rolled slowly through the darkening sky like Hades chariot  
when he captured Persephone, twisting and billowing with all the fury a soon to be storm   
could harness. He stood, adjusting his black blazer and looking for the run away girl.  
Nowhere. Sighing, Joe turned and headed back to a nearby cafe where a friend worked.  
  
I am ready,   
I am ready,   
I am ready.  
I am...  
  
"Joe?" Tai's quizzical voice roused the blue haired Kido out of his reverie.   
"Oh, hey Tai.." he sighed heavily, and the brunette frowned. "You Ok man?" Joe rubbed  
his forehead. "I kinda have a big problem..." Tai sat down, he was on his break, and he   
felt like he should listen to Joe's plight. Joe didn't get TO upset about much, but  
he seemed agonized about this..."Shoot." Joe looked up, searching the face of the  
old digidestined leader. He had had a crush on her then, maybe he shouldn't...He bit his  
lip. His face strained, and eyes lost. "Th-theres this girl... she kind of means everything  
to me...I really hurt her though.." Tai nodded. "How Joe?" the sad young man glanced  
away "I was with this other girl, and things were getting pretty hot and heavy. Me and  
this girl...we had been broken up, but...but it hurt..I was trying to get over her.."   
Tai frowned, slowly figuring out who the actors of this stage were. "So...we were   
kissing quiet a bit..when I gla-glance up and see her standing there...I felt  
like dying, Tai...I when she looked at me like that...I felt dead..." He put his hands   
over his face and groaned, as Tai watched, a tear hit the rose wood table below.  
  
Taffy stuck and tongue tied,  
stutter shook and uptight  
pull me out from inside  
  
Tai let Joe cry for a moment, without saying anything. He had seen how in love they   
were, had felt the joy they exuded when they were together, felt the passion they imbued   
when they felt alone enough. He felt compelled to ask the inevitable question, one  
that all of the digidestined had speculated on. "Why did you break up Joe?" The eyes  
that reached his own were tinged with liquid sorrow. "W-we were both scared...I t-think...  
We were s-scared because of our f-feeling...Oh God Tai!! They were so fucking strong...  
Joe let out a sob.   
"Who am I kidding...I-it's gotta be my fault!...I ruined everything...I must have   
pressured her...or said something...we w-w-were sitting on the couch...and I made a   
comment..I-she cried Tai! I made her cry! and she left me!" Joe began to sob, great   
wrenching sobs, burying his face in his arms, and Tai patted his shoulder "Joe...  
she loves you so much...she gushes about you for hours...she can sit there and talk about  
the color of you eyes, and they become part of OUR memory! This girl Joe, you mean   
everything to her. We KNOW that! And she means everything to you! I-I don't understand what   
happened to you, I only remember things..like watching you outside the gym on prom night...  
That had to be the most beautiful display of feeling I'd ever experienced. I remember...  
watching you two, and thinking how much I wanted someone to love, and be loved like THAT."  
By this time, Tai's own eyes had filled with tears. "Do you know how beautiful your love   
can BE Joe? A love that strong can't just be over because of a few dumb mistakes and fears!  
I know you won't get over her. You CAN"T get over a love that strong." Joe lifted his  
blue head and glared at his friend. "My love for her was the only thing that has ever kept  
me going. Everything your saying! I already KNOW every single statement your making, off by  
heart!" The tears that fell down Joe's face matched the hard rain that had started outside.  
Tai shook his head, standing. "Then what the hell are you doing here Kido? Why areant you  
begging her forgivness? Why areant you pleading for her love back? You've hurt her Joe, bad.  
What the HELL are you doing here??" Tai walked away.   
  
  
I am ready,  
I am ready  
I am ready  
I am fine...  
  
Joe was running. Joe wasn't pacing himself, wasn't thinking of his asthma, or the cold,  
only of his stupidity...of the foolishness he had let reign. Why had he let her go? When  
she had left that night...when she had cried this afternoon...This was the women he loved,  
the girl he adored. She meant everything to him! Joe Kido style, his paranoia's had  
taken over, allowing his inhibitions to come through...  
Fear-What if he wasn't good enough? what if he couldn't love her the way she deserved to be   
loved?   
Denial-She didn't really love him...maybe she was merely waiting for something else...  
Self Doubt-what if she didn't find him attractive anymore? What if she was going to dump   
him?   
Jealousy-If she went out with somebody else, he'd kill them with his bare hands.   
Nobody touched her, but him.   
Sorrow-He couldn't live without her light in his life...He would waste away...he would   
kill himself...  
Anger- He could do it! He didn't need anydody!   
Love-...Anybody, but her...  
His breathing was ragged... his adrenaline pumping...Getting to her was not a question of   
if, only will. Joseph Kido had never been more determined in his life.  
  
  
His frantic pace through the sharp, forceful rain left him drenched and his hard chest  
heaving. Joe spotted a pay-phone nearby, and slammed himself inside. His wet, shaking  
hands searched madly through his pockets, his numb fingers grasping at the change his black  
pants held. He pulled out a quarter, and thanking god, slid it into the slot. He stopped for  
a moment, gasping, as he sloppily punched in the numbers. The phone rang...and rang...and   
rang, until. *click* the answering machine picked up. Joe let out a small, moaning cry when   
he heard that voice. "Hi! You've reached Mimi Tachikawa, I'm not out right now...I'm   
probably with Joe...*giggle* If you'd like to leave a message, I'd love to hear it!   
Bye-bye!"*click* Joe leaned his soaking indigo head against the cold wet pane of glass   
that closed the phone booth. He could hardly speak, god he had missed that voice...He   
needed to touch her again...hold her the way he needed to...he let out a cry."Mimi!   
I...I don't know what to tell you...I know an apology isn't good enough..." Joe's tears   
fell. and another sob escaped. "She wasn't you Mimi!...I was with her...and all I could   
think of was you!...your-h-hair...the w-way the m-moonlight would hit it through the   
b-blinds when you were asleep...the w-way you would s-smile at me a-and I would fall   
-i-in l-l-love all over ag-gain! The way y-your eyes w-would sparkle w-when we you   
taught me to waltz...or the way y-you would cry o-out my name when we m-made love.."   
Joe's voice grew louder within the confines of the glass, and he slammed a palm against   
the window. "D-dammit Meems! I t-thought I-I could use somebody e-else to get o-over   
you!...but your everythinng to me...Oh God! Oh God Meems...Oh God...We promised  
e-eachother...we'd n-never let each other g-go..."  
Joe hung up the phone, hugging himself and crying, and 3 blocks away, in a small, sea side   
apartment, another broken heart sobbed.  
  
I am covered in skin,  
no one gets to come in,  
pull me out from inside  
  
Joe was almost delirious as he stumbled towards his destination. A fucking phone call  
wasn't enough, he had to reach her..had to hold her before he killed himself.  
He knew the way there. How many candle lit nights had they spent there? How many days had   
they enjoyed there? He wasn't going to let her go...He had promised her that much.  
  
I am folded   
and unfolded,  
and unfolding  
I am...  
  
Joe pounded at the door, not caring if he roused neighbours from fitful dreams, or   
awoke children from sugar coated blackness. "Mimi! Please let me in...We have to talk!"  
He leaned his head against the wood, weezing and desperate. "please Meems? You have to   
hear me out...I love you..." Joe heard the latch click, and the door slowly slid open,  
Joe practicaly fell to his knees, he was so overjoyed, and fresh tears spilled down  
his face, joining the wetness of his black turtleneck.   
Mimi opened the door, unable to stop herself. The sorrowful sight that greeted her  
broke her heart anew, and threw her off balance. Joseph Kido, tall, handsome, strong,  
Joseph Kido, was soaked to the bone. His deep navy hair appeared as black as his sopping  
clothes, and was plastered to his forhead, sprawled over his fogged up frames, and dripping  
down his body. His black clothing was trickling everywhere, and he was shivering violently.  
The anguish that streaked down his wonderful face equalled her own, and her soft heart  
couldn't take it. She opened the door, and ushered the chilled young man in. "J-Joe! why   
areant you at home...or with..her..." Joe turned forcefully, his wet hair spraying droplets  
over her face."Meems! She didn't mean anything to me! I was so lonley..I-I was thinking   
about you, and she started a conversation. I-I was hurt and angry..and she looked like you..  
I'm so sorry..More then you'll ever know..." Mimi nodded, thinking this over, as she led the   
crying Joe to the couch. She turnrd to leave, to get some things, when he latched onto her  
hand, his grip hard. "Mimi! p-please! I have to tell y-you!" Mimi petted his hand, her  
own tears falling.   
"It's ok Joe, I'll just be a sec." She padded out of the room, returning  
momentarily with towels and an inhaler. "He-here Joe, the one you always leave here is still  
full." SHe watched him take his puffer, her anguish making the silence unbearable. Joe's  
breathing changed to normal, and he briefly patted the moisture out of his hair. In a   
sudden, startling movement, he darted forward and pulled Mimi beside him on the couch.  
Mimi wasn't afraid, this young man would never physically hurt her. Emotionally though,  
he had ripped her to shreds.   
"J-Joe...you tell me how much you love me...and I can forgive you for that..g-girl...  
but that night...why didn't you come after m-me?" Joe put his blue head in his hands,   
letting out a harsh cry. "I-I was scared! Mimi, you reduce me to a weeping baby just   
by leaving! You make me so jealous when I see you with another guy, I want to destroy   
them with my bear hands! When you get me angry, I get so mad I want to cry again!  
When you and I are making love, I feel so overjoyed and thankful that you belong to me,  
that I could die and be complete! Just by being with you, you-you make every little  
thing seem like it's heaven sent! What could I ever offer you, how could I possibly make  
you as happy as you make me??" Joe pleaded with the beautiful girl, taking her tiny hands  
and gripping them like a life line. Mimi cried again, her crystal tears were quiet and soft.   
"Joe...Joe..All I need from you is love! Why can't you understand that?" Joe drew the  
girl closer to him, reveling in the love she always showed, even when they were going   
through the most trying, rocky ground their relationship had ever covered.  
"Oh, Meems...Why was I so stupid.." He stilled himself, anxious of the answer he might  
receive, tears coursing down his face, terrified of the words she might say. His very,  
life, heart soul and body, depended on her forgivness "Meems...Am I going to lose you?"   
  
Color Blind...  
Coffe black and egg white,  
pull me out from inside  
  
The brunette raised her head off the damp wool of his turtleneck. Silence filled the room,  
and she could feel the tension he felt, here the held in breathe that Joe kept. She loved  
this man with ever fibre in her body..it was a kind of desperate, heartbreaking beautiful  
love, that only hit once in a lifetime. She thought of Tai and Sora, or Yolie and Ken, or  
Kari and T.K, and the love that held them together. This was a mere stepping stone for her   
and Joe, a hurdle that would only strengthen their feelings. "No Joe, We're going to be   
fine."  
  
I am ready,  
I am ready,   
I am ready,  
  
Joe was so happy, he let out a small cry, and hugged the girl close. "Oh my...Mimi I...  
Oh I..." He rested his head against hers. Shivering, freezing, relieved and happier then   
he had ever been. This time, when he wept, they were tears of joyful relief. "Oh Meems...  
I love you so much...I won't let you go again..."   
Mimmi smiled tearfully. "I know Joe, I know..."  
  
I am fine,  
I am fine,  
I am fine  
  
  
  
The End  
  
I really liked this one, sad, but happy....I hope you did to ^_^ !!  
I Love reviews! -Mamacita   



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